Last year this time was such a hopeful time for me. I was happy to see 2008 on it’s way out because financially it had taken it’s toll on me. Obama was close to getting into office. I was campaigning door-to-door with my children. Somehow I thought we were all going to singing Kum- ba -yah with lyrics switched out to something Like “Yes we Can Lord, Yes we can..” All was going to be divine in 2009. Well in a lot of ways 2009 hasn’t disappointed. Obama did make it in! I went to D.C. on that very cold day to witness his swearing in on the Jumbotron. I’ve found out that I am expecting a new bouncing baby boy! Business is starting to pick up again, although I am still fighting hard to make things like they were or better than they were. I am very happy with my husband and children. We are really close and experiencing good times together since we have moved everything (school and work) at home. Even our bickering is fewer and farther between and shorter in duration. Yes, 2009 is in fact divine.
Except, yes I guess there’s always an except. Except, I am feeling increasingly heartbroken over the hatred, paranoia, intolerance, and lack of compassion I am seeing around. I’ve been out there on twitter, facebook, and comcast messageboards (which is the absolute worst) and it ain’t pretty. I am seeing a bunch of ugly, ugly, ugly on the T.V. too. It’s been exhausting. Why? Because I get involved. I’ve started a website called Love’s Gumbo, but somedays all I do is get myself entangled in hate. I’ll admit it. I am not going to lie. I see inane comments being made somewhere and I suit up with my armor and go to war! My husband watches me typing furiously (because being at war nowadays is all by internet chatter right?), and he tries to stop me. “Why do you go to comcast?” he asks. “Who are you getting now?” “Oh my baby’s gonna get them now?” These are the remarks I get from him, until… Someone pisses him off at one of his frequent pit stops. Then he’s off and running, but that’s another story.
I read inspirational words everyday. I meditate many days too. I have even started the day off singing hymns, but somehow I keep getting pulled into this bull. Really, I run to it. Obama gives an educational speech, I’m on twitter kicking anybody’s ass who has something bad to say about it. That jerk from S.C. embarrasses his wife by saying his mistress is his soulmate, I go on a rant. The other jerk from S.C. disrespects the President, I go to war for two days on twitter.
It’s draining me, and I am doing it to myself. I cannot respond to every birther, hater, shouter, anti-healthcarian, righter, neo-con, small-minded racist, bigot. I’ve got to calm down. I’ve got to find my peace again. I’ve been out here using these social media networks to act a damn fool, and today I am going to stop it!
I am using Rhodochrosite to assist me in this endeavor. It’s a crystal that promotes tolerance, healing, compassion, self-love, friendship, kindness, and comfort. It also helps people to quiet their feelings of paranoia and irrational fears (which might be something my combatants need). Although I am not going to focus on them, I am going to focus on me. Whenever I look at them I get myself all in a tizzy. I need to grab my Rhodochrosite, look at God and goodness, and find my peace once again.